30th June 2006

It's hard being an (inter)national man of mystery

It's been a hard week. A week of three days of UML followed by two days of travel, and I am beat. I was meant to be heading back Oop Norf ((c) Z) but there's a bit of a stag do going down tonight in St Albans. I um'ed and ar'ed a while before the decision point hit me. Should I travel back tonight I will miss some footie, and Lord knows I have been going cold turkey since the last game. Decision made. I am staying.

Thankfully, in St Albans, there is no chance of a stag party turning into anything inappropriate. As the guy whose do it is said, the police are scrambled in a pre-emptive strike if there is anyone who has their shoe-lace undone or hasn't shaved today, so there is no tolerance of the usual debauchery. It's that kind of place. How will a Kenny survive in such a refined environment? Will one utterance of "bollocks" see me imprisoned?

Finally, you will note the girly Southern puffter has finally posted. He is femininely going hawking (yes, doing things with falconry) somewhere in Nottinghamshire this evening thereby avoiding being shown up for the shandy drinking wuss that he is. He thinks Nottinghamshire is Oop Norf. The lad has a lot to learn. And he seems to be more timid in print than he is in real life.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 15:19 BST
 

There is no such thing as a gas bar-b-q!!

I have to admit that I may have become a bit of a bar-b-q snob, but I would like to point out that the items that are sold in the shops that have a gas bottle attached...

ARE NOT BAR-B-Q's they are in fact GAS COOKERS for the OUTSIDE.

They have been designed by people for people that :-

-- Are incapable of lighting fires.
-- Not bright enough to work out those flames do not cook food.
-- For people who bleach their floors!

This is not a fire to cook on:



This is a fire to cook on:



This has been a public information blog!!!!


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 10:46 BST
 

29th June 2006

Busy

Sorry peeps. Work and travel are running me a bit ragged this week. Bristol today, St Albans tomorrow. The earliest you will get anything of any substance is tomorrow. In the mean time, if you can't be good, make sure you're really, really bad. Kick kittens or something.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 06:15 BST
 

28th June 2006

Not a day to relish

I may be a day late on this, but it doesn't make me any less sad. Someone who I started off despising, Acidman, appears to have killed himself. I started off that way, but he grew on me to a point where I actually called him. In my weakest hours and when I thought the world had just piled up on me, he emailed his number and we spent a long time talking. He didn't mince his words, on the phone or on his blog.

I only logged on to check my email and now I'm thrashing out alternatives having read what I can only describe as horrendous news.

I feel very sorry for his family. Rob had his problems, but he was fundamentally a great man. For once, I'm speechless.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Wed 00:16 BST
 

26th June 2006

UML for lunch

I'm doing a course on UML from today until Wednesday. It's an offsite so I have no internet access. Horror! I went into it thinking it would be academic madness gone awry but oddly, after day one, I am eager to hear more. The thing that caught my eye, as it were, is the implementation of Object Oriented logic. I have long struggled with OO. UML explained it to me in terms I could use. At least I think it did. I suppose the proof of the pudding will be next time I have to code.

My throat hurts for all the screaming of yesterday. El Grande Capitan did the business. Drop him at your peril. And whoever wrote in their column in the Telegraph that Ashley Cole had a good game cannot have been watching the same game I did.

And now there is more football to watch. It's hell I tell you. Utter hell.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Mon 20:13 BST
 

25th June 2006

Lou Reed would hate this Sunday Morning

It's Sunday already. That sucks.

I made the fatal mistake of meeting up with Mike again yesterday. This meant a trip to Mad Jack's in Ashton. While Mike inspected some girl's tonsils for the majority of the night, I suddenly became convinced that I could dance -- fret ye not, I cannot. And I should not. I have just texted Mike to say that he should never, ever, ever, take me there again. It's crowded, expensive hell and I have no idea why I thought it was a good idea to go there in the first place.

Whenever I spend time with peeps on the pull, I have a horrible sickly feeling. It's kind of a massive guilt burden but with no justifiable reason; I'm not on the pull, but other people's morals do worry me. As a kid, it wouldn't have phased me, but as I grow older and the reality hits me, I realise that relationships are a bit more sacred than they were. And I don't just mean marital ones. I flit between my grandmother's and my parents' at the moment. Both have been brilliant since I came back. But there's a huge hole where Nski and the kids were. I guess age dictates awareness and we all have these slow awakenings where we gradually understand the important things in life.

Now on to footie matters, because, you know, footie matters. It appears that Rio is fit but Neville isn't. This troubles me. As much as I hate to say it, Neville is a crucial part of the team. Those that are baying for Beckham to be dropped should look at Neville as a counterpart. He overlaps with Beckham to a degree that is bordering on art. Being the eternal doubter that I am, I fear a nation will be in mourning within six hours. My new England shirt will be stained with tears.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 12:13 BST
 

24th June 2006

Bugger it

I had planned on writing some code today, however the mind may be disciplined, but the head is not willing. I fired up vi, looked at what needed to be done, and then had a dose of "damn, that involves thinking". And to be brutally honest, I have enough to think about. Maybe tomorrow...

I had a rare trip to the pub last night. My old mate Mike is usually found in there. He is normally accompanied by Rob but last night saw Rob disappear to a Jazz-fusion night somewhere, whatever one of those is. My personal experience of improvised Jazz is that it's a bunch of text-book musicians trying to out-clever each other in a karmic five-knuckle shuffle fest. In other words, I hate it. Learn some new chords you slackers.

Anyhoooo, after the pub, I went back to Mike's. He put on a DVD by Nick Cave. Stanger Lee started. I'm not a big Nick Cave fan, but when I do hear him, I usually feel I should give him a try. As that thought was passing through my mind, I immediately had to cross it off the "to-do" list. This was caused by the sudden appearance of one K Minogue. Regular visitors will know my hatred for the midget. Mike has a calendar from three years ago with the poison dwarf all over it. How can anyone find her attractive? Bleh.

It struck me while all this was going on, that I must be getting softer as I get older. There was a time when the only female vocalists I listened to were Kate Bush and Julianne from All About Eve. Now, if you check my MP3 player, with the exception of Paul Weller and The Goo Goo Dolls, all of the artists are female. To wit: Evanessence, Dido, Kate Bush, Tori Amos, Joni Mitchell, Fiona Apple, Ani DiFranco, Sarah Mclachlan, Stevie Nicks, Sam Payne. When did I turn into a girl?

When did the days of electric guitars fade and the era of acoustics and pianos start? When did I forsake Eldritch in favor of proper jazz (not the painful variety)?

Each evening, I find myself on a train with Fiona Apple serenading the passing Pennines. At the moment, I think she has the best voice ever. It's goose-bumps time whenever I hear her. Wow. I just checked her website and she's touring. When I say that, I mean she is touring America. Sloblock (anagram).

Ah. One thing I haven't disclosed is that I am going to a Joe Jackson gig on July 6th. For younger readers or those with poor taste, Joe Jackson is famed for It's Different For Girls, Steppin' Out and Is She Really Going Out With Him?. A vastly underrated talent. Now some might say that I am too old for gigs, but I would counter that with the fact that no-one under the age of 30 will be there. Guaranteed. In fact, I will probably be one of the younger attendees.

Wowsers again. I really went off at a tangent there. As I say, I'll do that coding tomorrow.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sat 10:40 BST
 

Advanced warning

Just a little postlet to my singular reader. We might experience some outages today as I intend modifying my code to allow guest posting. This will involve some database gubbins and some PHP coding. Chances are I'll mess it up first time, so there will be issues.

I know, I know. I should have a dev/test environment. Sue me.

The reason for the changes is so I can allow a friend of mine to post. He's twice (if not more) as opinionated as I am, and firmly believes that he is 100% right consistently. That fact is, sadly, rendered complete rubbish by his performance at quiz nights in St Albans.

Ladies and gentlemen, and the rest, I will shortly be providing you with a girly Southern Puffter's view of the world. We are very similar people with the exception that he spends half of his life trying to keep his Missus in France, while I spend most of my time wishing my Missus was here. Oh, and I am always more right than he is.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sat 08:51 BST
 

23rd June 2006

I'm embarassed to be English

...we can't even count

In an unbelievable show of incompetence last night, Graham Poll disgraced English football with refereeing that made Adolf Rodriguez look saintly. Earlier, I called for cautions for referees. Now, I don't just call for them, I insist on them. It was absolutely shocking. How do you get to the point where you issue three yellow cards and a red card to the same man in one match?

In addition to being innumerate, Poll couldn't spot a penalty if the spot was labelled penalty. The Croatian that virtually rugby tackled Viduka could not have done more to advertise the fact had he pulled out an uzi and gunned him down. And that was just the first penalty Poll missed. There followed a second. Tomas appeared to think he was playing in goal and Poll was quite happy to play along. He blatantly palmed the ball twice that I saw, and I was in and out for smokey breaks.

To any Australian readers, I cannot aplolgise enough. If it's any consolation (and I know it won't be), that should have been your game 4-2 (minimum). Take heart from the fact that you are through against all the odds. And after last night, you have the majority of the world hoping you bloody win the thing now. Well, at least come runners up to England.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 10:29 BST
 

22nd June 2006

Identity theft

It's what's for dinner

Bit of a non-post really...firstly, the boys and I won the quiz last night by a huge margin (3.5 points) so I'm feeling all intellectually superior today. This is, of course, unmerited as I had no idea that Baffin Island was the 5th largest in the world. Had I my way, it would have been Vancouver and we would have won by 2.5 points. That said, I got all the American questions right apart from the Liberty Island one -- it was called Bensummotorother before it was renamed. I had that down as Alcatraz. My bad.

Anyhooooooo, someone posted a comment as "n". I automatically assumed that it was Nski. It transpires that it isn't. It came from the UK. Either Nski has descended to the UK and I am not going to sleep for weeks, or we have an impersonation happening. "n", whoever you are, there are trademarks associated with "n". ;)

Time to check the footie results. I spent too much time on trains, in meetings and winning quizes yesterday to check on the action. My spreadsheet is out of date. Must. Remedy. Situation.

Addendum: Having analysed the construction of the comment, I am fairly confident that the "n" in question is nicw. He's forgiven.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 08:53 BST
 

21st June 2006

Ode to the England football team

Just kidding

I have to board a train for Bristol shortly having completed doing battle with a POS named Weblogic earlier, but I know you hang on for the match reports (not).

ITV's choice of Kate Bush's The Man With the Child in his Eyes while showing adoring footage (no pun intended) of Wayne Rooney prior to the game was touching. I had tears of pride streaming down my cheek and into my Guinness. I was that enthralled and moved that I accidentally branded two fingers and a thumb by picking up a metal skewer fresh off the barbeque. I wouldn't mind but the kebab was a tad dodgy.

Let me be the first to commiserate with der Esel. You know what they usually do with lame donkeys? Yes. So should we.

Carragher had a mare of a game. He was the reason we drew, and could have been the reason we lost.

Rooney substitution? Madness. Ashley Cole? Plonker. I could go on but I won't. Oh, who am I kidding? It was definitely a game of two halfs. The first half, as with the first game, we looked like a side that was quality. The second half, we looked like a side who had never even seen something round, let alone spherical. Sweden's second goal has to be the softest goal I have seen in a life time; three players were queueing up to clear that ball, and all three missed. A rare bad moment for Terry. Not so much a back four as a back 2.

I feel compelled to comment on Joe Cole's absolute pearler. On the chest, on the volley, blam! Poetry in motion.

Finally, is it me, but don't most women look ten times more attractive when clothed in an England shirt? I suppose that could be the effect of several Guinnesses too.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Wed 09:43 BST
 

20th June 2006

Thought for the day

Wisdom while smoking a cigarette

Everyone should have an ex-wife so that no matter how impossible a situation is, they have a frame of reference for what impossible really means.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Tue 12:23 BST
 

More reasons to avoid fights

I've never been in one, but I've seen lots

From the BBC

1133 BST: German police arrested known Swedish hooligans last night, according to Swedish TV. The eight people were not involved in any fights but they were near to the scene of one in Cologne.

So, there's a new offence in Germany -- being close to the vicinity of a fight. Bugger me, I had better not go there.

In terms of tonight, I suspect that if der Esel doesn't score tonight, he may as well get a flight back to Blighty tomorrow morning. In fact, der Esel isn't quite as cool or insulting as der Igel; and it accuractely represents his speed.

--

In other non-football related news (gasp), that I cannot go into the detail of, my recent optimism was given a smack to the gonads yesterday evening. I remain, however, magnanimous...after all, as Bill Shankley once said "Football is not a matter of life or death; it is much more important".


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Tue 12:05 BST
 

18th June 2006

More

Now I've slept, I feel a great deal more comfortable with the US performance. In retrospect, the US were unlucky not to win. Some of the misfortune was self-inflicted, some handed down by the Gods. Keller made some great saves and redeemed himself for his sins of the Czek match (he looked like he was of Scottish origin during the first game). Reyna, Donovan and Beasley all played better games. If they can beat Ghana (which should be do-able on paper), and Italy show better form than they did last night, the final sixteen beckons.

I didn't see the (multiple) red cards but am informed that they were merited. To be fair, there were a number of challenges that I did see that were borderline red card offences. The standard of refereeing during the tournament has been, not to put too finer a point on it, variable. There have been games where the referees and linesmen (I do not subscribe to the PC shite of calling them referee's assistants) have been barking. In fact, for the next World Cup we should introduce a red/yellow card system for match officials.

So what do we have to look forward to today?

Brazil v Australia -- I did have that down as an Aussie win but I reckon it's more likely to be a draw. Let's go 1-1.

Japan v Croatia -- Guaranteed Japanese win. 3-0.

France v South Korea -- Tough call this. Based on the French performance in their first game, I'll go narrow French win. 2-1.

To finish, some links I have been sent:

Devastated By U.S. World Cup Team's First-Round Loss, Nation Grinds To Halt

I demand royalties -- Redhat-tip to Dr Power. Within this, there is a comment "The attackers, collectively, were struggling to locate the banjo, never mind the cow's arse." And yes, they were talking about Michael Owen.

Cheer up. We're only one week into the competition. There's another three weeks of me waxing lyrical about donkeys, cow's arses and banjos. I think I need to add a few new pseudonyms for our overpaid under-achievers.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 11:16 BST
 

17th June 2006

God damn it

I have just spent an hour and a half with various bits of cable trying to get my digital TV box to pick up ITV for the Italy vs USA game. I can get every channel under the sun except the one that is showing the game. I even tried the unconventional -- going back to a straight analogue feed. Unfortunately the remote control to this TV is busted so I cannot retune the analogue channels. The only route into the TV is the SCART lead. So bloody frustrating. SCART is to TV what SCSI was to computing; over-engineered and badly designed crap.

I have signal boosters, more cables and connectors than you can imagine, and I have still failed.

I so wanted to watch this game too. I feel like I'm letting down my adopted home by not being able to offer support that doesn't consist of hitting F5. Sorry guys, the intentions were there; the bastard electrons (well rather the Winter Hill signal) let me down.

What I will say is that the US looked technically a good side last game; as good as any other. They just lacked a spark, some vision. Let's hope they can create tonight. Italy are getting old, and I desperately want the US to get some momentum.

Fingers crossed, and damn you technology.

Update:

I watched the first 20 minutes and the last half hour. This means I missed the red cards and the goals. But what I did see was a US side that has the potential to go through to the next round. They showed real guts and commitment. I may not have seen the whole game, but I am a happy man. Well done lads.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sat 19:58 BST
 

Privatized rail rocks

...as long as you travel off-peak to places no-one wants to go to.

Last Monday morning, I had a ticket from here to St Albans, via Warrington Bank Quay station. All very good. I had seat assigments and everything. Trouble is the train from here to Bank Quay was cancelled, putting me back by well over an hour. So I caught a bus to Bank Quay at extra cost. Upon arriving there, I noticed that the train to Watford junction was standing waiting for me. Only, this wasn't my train, this was the train from two hours earlier. I managed to bag a seat (lucky) and watched while other poor souls stood all the way down to London.

Apparently, the cause of the delays was a lightning strike South of Manchester. Virgin gave out complementary drinks and asked for our addresses and names, presumably so they can bribe us with a small cash offer or a discount coupon. More likely, we will be bombarded with junk mail.

I cannot complain about seating on that train; three hours worth of North-South traffic were on a single train. I can, however complain about last night. There were no lightning strikes. Yet I stood from Watford to Rugby. Others stood all the way.

If you're going to inconvenience people by over-booking, you should have to do what the airlines do, barter a price for their favor. If an airline overbooks, you get offered cash, free vouchers, hotel accomodation etc. They can't just herd you all onto the plane and make you stand for the duration. Neither can coaches. Why should train companies be allowed to do it?

Don't get me wrong. The rail network is way better than when it was publically run but there is a degree of profiteering at the expense of those who pay handsomely for the priviledge of standing for 200 miles.

Leeds to St Albans - £166 and a nice luggage rack for you try and sit on. Wigan to Birmingham - £34 and no-one else on the train.

I am off back down to St Albans on Monday morning until Thursday with a day in Bristol on Wednesday. All by train. Let's hope the experiences of last week were an anomalay. Monday morning heading South with no seat will send me into apoplexy and will result in a rant on a grand scale.

And finally. Not the frickin' Argentinians again. I hate the cheating bastards and could not stand seeing them lift the World Cup again. England need to get their act together, and sharpish. We can beat them. We have to.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sat 11:50 BST
 

16th June 2006

Perkin Elmur

Ri-bloody-diculous.

Nanny state is an understatement.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 12:25 BST
 

Life energy low

Wow.

I went out with some work compadres last night to watch Ingerland at O'Neill's in St Albans. I could well have been at the game for the atmosphere. It was deafening. I have no voice this morning, and a family of French men appear to have moved into my head.



Match summary? I have no idea, other than the fact that, at last, the world and his donkey appear to have started seeing the light, and we won.

How do I survive World Cups?


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 11:13 BST
 

15th June 2006

I love it when I am so right it hurts

It's official

From the BBC website:

0834 BST: Wayne Rooney is desperate to be involved and some sort of action seems likely, especially as Sven-Goran Eriksson made the unprecedented step of criticising Michael Owen's movement against Paraguay. -- Five Live Sport's Mike Ingham.

The only thing missing from that are the words "cow's arse" and "banjo".

Perhaps Sven isn't quite as insane as I thought.

I am so excited. I'm like a kid on Christmas Eve. I'm bouncing off walls waiting for three o'clock so we can all get the hell out of Dodge and find a seat in a local boozer. I fear I know what people with ADD go through. I've been obsessively hitting F5 on the BBC site, desperate for more news. In words I have used several times today "I'll get mi coat".


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 13:17 BST
 

Damn, you can see where my head isn't

We have an email list at work that is for daft things. Someone sent this round this morning. Me being the smart-alec sent out a response saying it was cheap trick and that it relied on where you put your mouse.

Some bloody mathematican I am.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 10:04 BST
 

A plea for help

Midst the footie madness, there's some work broken out. Given that my every waking moment is consumed with the beautiful game, I cannot apply my brain to technical matters in the way I would normally. This is problematic in that I have to do something I haven't done before early next week. I have to install an LDAP server on Windows 2k3. I have asked for some guru-like guidance from him and Dr Power but sadly, they are as un-illuminated as I which means I will either have to ask you sorry lot for help or work it out myself. The latter sounds too much like hard work so any help would be much appreciated. Have I mentioned how much I hate Microsoft?

In other news, six of us with a combined IQ that must be over 1000 managed to lose the quiz last night. The one redeeming aspect of being in St Albans is that the Whitehart Tap does a decent quiz on a Wednesday but it's crucifying to be beaten by a couple of lasses who read Hello magazine.

Toodles.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 09:12 BST
 

13th June 2006

Beautiful Irony

I'm sat at work sporting a French football top. I work for a large French company, so there are many of our French brethren knocking about. It is barely 8:30 and twice I have been greeted in French by assuming Francois and Jean-Maries. If they only knew...


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Tue 08:30 BST
 

10th June 2006

Match Report £1

England 1 - Paraguay 0 - Referee - Ascendency to German Uber Fuhrer

Firstly I must congratulate Paraguay's manager on his making it to adulthood with a name like Annabelle. I know it's spelled Anibal, but Annabelle just sounds better. It would be a far more appropriate name for some of his team though.

The refereeing was bizarre and Paraguay were certainly favored by our little Mexican friend, Mr Adolf Rodriguez. When they weren't in receipt of random free-kicks, a couple of their side -- let's call them Annabelle for now -- were writhing around on the floor in almost a suicidal manner having not made contact with person nor ball. Indeed after having got up, one went straight back down into Jihad mode once he realised Paraguay had not scored. I was forced into making a comment about being South American on tubes in London and that Paredes should be wary of sporting a rucksack or an odd facial expression. I suppose it is what we expect of South Americans - Latino melodrama and lots of mama mia's, and Annabelles.

The match Nazi referee, Herr Adolf Rodriguez, was obviously testing a hallucinogenic for the German government. Zu musst nicht drunken ze wasser. It may be thirty degrees and you may be running around like mad men, but no hydration products for you. It is not in keeping viss ze spirit of ze game. Fallen over, leg attached by a single vein? No physio for you, ya puff. Hair brushed against Party standards? Yellow card. Speaking English in die Uber Country? Yellow card.

That said, he was not the only one needing his bumps felt. Old Sven must have been on the pop again last night. The only substitution he made that I agreed with was to take off the donkey. Michael Owen touched the ball three times in 55 minutes and each time it went quite happily sailing off in exactly the wrong direction. The commentators were discussing whether he might be injured or just not 100% fit. I made the comment "it's because he was crap". Sure enough, news came from the dug-out that it was a "tactical switch", read "he was crap".

Downing for Owen, I could just about stomach. But Hargreaves for Joe Cole? Calling Dr Freud, calling Dr Freud. It was a lunatic move. Having created so many chances that were missed either through bad luck or poor play, Sven, in his wisdom, decided to ride out the storm by plonking ten men in his own half and one on the half way line, just in case some one had the temerity to try and lob the midfield and defense from their own half.

As far as performances go, let's get the praise out of the way first. Beckham, Crouch and Joe Cole -- excellent. Lampard, Terry, Robinson, Neville (although Gary, you really should learn to pass the ball forward when you're in their half) -- not bad. Ferdinand, Downing, Gerard -- must try harder. Ashley Cole, Owen -- fail and Golden Banjo awards.

More of a non-loss than a victory, but it's points that win prizes so I can live with it. Ultimately the only person who won was the referee who is guaranteed German citizenship after a display of hypocritical leadership and discipline last seen in the late 30s.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sat 16:27 BST
 

Hot, excited and skint

I have to mention the weather. It's in the 80s here. I don't remember so many days of successive heat in England since 1976. That said, I have probably now initiated the next ice age. I am still carrying an umbrella everywhere though. This is the North West; do not be presumptuous.

The excitement stems from the obvious. Yesterday's opening game of Germany vs Costa Rica was more open than anyone could have predicted. This is probably explained by the fact that the German defense has more holes than Blackburn did in A Day In The Life and that Costa Rica have a sole striker. The second game was a little less enthralling with a win for Equador over Poland, 2-0. Little to say about this really. I would have expected Poland to win, but as usual they are the team that never realises their potential in a major tournament.

My nerves are jangling in anticipation of the game. Given my luck over the past week (and particularly this morning), I'm not confident of the required result although I would dearly, dearly, dearly love to be proved wrong.

All these taxi fares Darn Sarf, and an emergency dollop to the US have completely wiped me out of cash. I'll have to try and sort something out next week. Until then, it's surrepticiously swiping Boddingtons from where the paternal unit keeps his stash. Oh, and football. Hours and hours and hours of glorious football. If you're not into it, you might want to take a rain check on visiting for a while. I don't see the subject changing very much.

Oh, and the bad news is, I'm Darn Sarf again for most of next week. Ug.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sat 12:29 BST
 

8th June 2006

Quickie

I'm suffering down South. Hot. Traffic. Thirty minutes and £12 to get 3 miles due to the previous non-sentence. If hell is worse than Down South, I'm becoming a monk.

Anyway, a quick observation. There's a sign at Manchester Picadilly that reads "In times of inclement weather, the platforms may become slippery". In Manchester? If you live in Manchester, you'll know that inclemency (is that a word) is the norm rather than the exception. And I bet 80% of the population don't understand the word inclement.

Also, do the great unwashed not read this? Just say no to flip-flops.

Finally, because it hasn't been out for a while, and because I know you all miss it:




Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 10:40 BST
 

5th June 2006

I'm a class act

Gorgeous petal!


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Mon 10:41 BST
 

4th June 2006

National frenzy imminent

I have about 40 days holiday to take between now and the end of next March. The World Cup starts in less than a week. If you do some quick mental gymnastics, you'll see where I'm heading...

In a prelude to getting stuck into banjos, cow's arses and Owen-bashing, I have to say that England looked like they had seen a football before yesterday afternoon. I can't comment on much more than that since I was a tad on the dizzy side. I had set out to buy some cigarettes. However, fate conspired against me. As I was walking to the shop, I bumped into an old girlfriend of mine that I haven't seen in probably 15 years. We exchanged pleasantries, had a quick catch up and then my phone went. One of t'lads was on the end of the non-existent wire asking whether I fancied a pint while watching the England match. Mais oui!

I think we're in for a few upsets this year. Specifically, the former laughing stocks of the World Cup, the USA and Australia, might be a more tenable force in Germany. The US have come on in leaps and bounds over the past ten years or so, and I suspect they could emerge and surprise everyone (except me) by coming at the top of group E. If they don't, they will certainly be second. This puts them in a second round game against what I predict will be Brazil or Australia. If the latter, the US have a virtual bye to the quarter finals, where I think they will meet South Korea. After that, it's the big boys, but you never know.

The country is bedecked in red and white. I'm ashamed to say I haven't purchased an England shirt and probably won't before pay-day, by which time we could be out of the Cup anyway. I am, however, sporting a fine Oddies England 2006 T-shirt. A fashion icon, I am not.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 14:59 BST
 

3rd June 2006

Travel grinds

Well another week passed and all I managed to do, apart from migrate the old site here, is work and line the pockets of First Trans-Penine Express.

I've been a bit clever in the migration, learning from mistakes I made when I started the old site. Firstly, bots are rejected. Secondly, no references to my surname (there are still links to the old domain but I will sort those over the weekend at some point).

I'm due to be in hell Darn Sarf Wednesday to Friday next week, which will mean no internet access in the evening. Bummer. What did people do before the t'interweb? Ah yes, they spoke to other people in social environments. Shudder. Looks like I'll be getting au fait with crap TV again. I was meant to be meeting up with an old Uni friend of mine in London on Thursday evening but I have sent the last of my spare (non-train-fare) cash to Natzoid, so that might be a non-starter. Bugger.

So what are my plans for the glorious weekend? Nada. The only guarantee is that it will inevitably involve a crossword or two. It's all go around here you know, not. It's like treading water waiting for a lifeboat.

More later.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sat 10:35 BST
 

1st June 2006

Quick update

I'm now a different color. This is because I've been rebranded. Those of you in the UK will probably be able to work out who I work for now. Those of you who are not should be content with the fact that we have possibly the best marketing department I have ever encountered -- geniuses or genii, I can never work out which is correct.

In other news, the new domain is registered and I have started the porting process. All bloggage will be transfered there in the next few days. Those who emailed for an updated address should get one in the next couple of days.

Oh, and I have some terribly exciting news that I cannot speak of, on pain of death. Rest assured, dear lurkers, all will be revealed come the day of joy or pain.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 12:54 BST