12th December 2007
Adios amigos
This is a hard one.
My friends and family all know what's going on and, to be honest, I don't like that at all. I don't mind alluding to it on here but when I start getting text messages and emails from my friends and family, I start to feel a bit vulnerable. I appreciates the thoughts from them, but this is mine to deal with and I've lived on t'interweb so long that I prefer friends who I trust and those that I have made online.
Given this will be possibly my last post, I'd like to thank a few people:
Factory Supervisor
Tracy
Tasha (who I'm sure is hotter than Gwen Stefani, and that is going some)
STAN -- you don't get any better than this guy
My cousin A who is the most caring nurse in the UK
K, who is now officially off my case now but still calls
Emma, who is no longer the barmaid at th'Oddies (so I'm told) for being just so much God damned fun
Debs and Martin for being so sweet
The Flipflop for just being adorable, marrying my brother and producing the gogglebot
Waart for his endless pursuit of plane safety while supping large amounts of alcohol
Mopsa who is just the nicest person you will ever meet
Bryony for humouring me when I send her daft emails
NioW for all the times he bailed me out of all sorts of fights at school
Lauren from The Horn in St Albans for being not just gorgeous, but incredibly friendly and worth her weight in gold
Likewise Sarah from The Horn
See you peeps - Stan will keep you updated over the next few months (if I can't) as I will be texting him regularly.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Wed 17:58 GMT, by Kenny
11th December 2007
Prelim
Given that I am being admitted to hospital on Thursday morning, my parents very kindly put on an early Christmas for me. Roast duck with a choice of lemon or orange sauce. I always side with the lemon -- I have been known to eat them raw. The way I see it, orange is what you put in gin. :) Gorgeous meal though, and wow, do I love Christmas pudding or what?
The parentals (well I suspect my maternal unit) bought me some fabulous art kit - pastels, pencils, pads etc. to ease my time while I lie there like a stuffed muppet morphined up to my eyeballs and six sheets to the wind. Come to think of it most great artists had some form of drug addiction so if I can pick one up, who knows what the results might be? Then again, most great artists were dead before anyone realised they were great. Tricky one that.
Tracy asked whether I would be able to do email from the joint. They frown down upon it for some God forsaken reason, but my laptop is coming with me just in case I can pick up a wireless signal. Failing that, I always have my GPRS phone which is even more easy to conceal although much tougher to type on so any emails or bloggage will be fairly short.
For those who have emailed regarding what exactly is wrong, it's chronic neuropathy, cardio-myopathy and any other number of "opathys" you can come up with. My sick note reads like a medical dictionary. I swear were the writing not so small, they would not have managed to fit all of it on there.
Anyway, if I can't blag an internet connection, the last time you'll hear from me is tomorrow for many months, if ever again. All I ask is that Nski, you keep my blog up and running. You don't need to post but just keep it there for hysterical posterical reasons.
Stan, have at it mate.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Tue 14:10 GMT, by Kenny
9th December 2007
Abject failure
Here's my latest attempt at being an arty-farty. Not brilliant by any stretch of the imagination, but it's better than I used to be. Keep in mind I used only a B2 pencil.
BTW, USB sucks.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 13:25 GMT, by Kenny
The origins of Kenny
As most of you will know, my real name is not Kenny. It was a nickname that I picked up at school.
Anyone who was cool was called Kenny insert surname here. Eg. Kenny Sumner.
It all stemmed from a local taxi driver called Kenny Horroks. He was as enormous in his character as he was in his stature and width. I think I'm right when I say that they had to modify the car to cater for his size. Everyone that I know thought he was a scream.
His wife's name was Betty. Ironically we had a mate who was actually called Kenny. We called him Betty because he was such a wuss.
I mention this only because the maternal unit reminded me the other day that my French teacher hated me. 'Why?' you might ask. The answer is that in every French essay that I wrote, I chose the characters of Ken and Betty. Not tres Francais n'est ce pas? It infuriated her. So much so that I ended up in detention. Hell, if you can't have a laugh, what is the point of learning?
Alors, come the day of exam results, where I got my A in French, the fury rose. "Solid" (as we used to call her) damned near blew a gasket. I was running for the hills because I knew she would be livid with any form of success for me. Tough Solid.
Alors, Ken est un douanier a Orly et Betty est une mama.
Ergo Kenny!
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 08:53 GMT, by Kenny
7th December 2007
Ridiculous
Bryony is a hoot.
She reckons that most people don't think she's a good writer. I couldn't disagree more vehemently. She's public, open and very, very good at what she is paid for. My first website visit is to see whether she has updated her blog. My first page to read is her column on Thursdays. 'Nuff said.
Send her an email and tell her to keep on keeping on, because I love her to bits. It's rare when you feel an affinity with a journo.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 12:12 GMT, by Kenny
Ladies
Kenny is now officially on the market again. (Bryony, email me and I'll send you the number).
I know I said I wouldn't mention Nski again but she's been such a bitch, I feel it only right to exorcise that particular emotion.
I'm at a point where I will spend the rest of my days in hospital and all I get is pathos. Sickening.
I spend most of my life looking for the good points in people. Nski just leeches. And it's a shame because I really cannot envisage loving anyone more. She's everything you want as a guy -- gorgeous, witty etc.
Sad day.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 10:29 GMT, by Kenny
5th December 2007
Art and the Zen of Motorcycle Maintenance
The maternal unit surpised me yesterday on two counts.
Firstly, she brought me two art books because she has always hated me being a techie and given that I have started scribbling again and she's seen some of my writing, she wants to drag me over to the dark side. There are some stunning landscapes in them but I'm not swayed.
I'm 50/50 left/right brain on every test I have ever done. I have to keep pointing out computing pays way more than painting, drawing or writing (unless you're J K Rowling).
The second surprise was a Christmas card signed "The Paternal Units" which makes me wonder whether she's been reading here...gulp.
Countdown time now. I'll update you on the docs soon.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Wed 15:31 GMT, by Kenny
2nd December 2007
Argos et al
Given that I'm going to be in hospital over Christmas, I've tried to do my shopping online. The obvious choice is Argos. But oh no, they have bollocks all in stock.
I deliberately stayed home today to place my order for the gogglebot and Fuhrer's presents. It allowed me to order them and then when it came to checkout, BLAM -- "Not in stock". Whoever wrote that code should be shot.
Grrr -- I thought the whole point of t'interweb was that you didn't have to go through this kind of crap. Guess I'll have to look elsewhere -- Byebye Argos, but not Buybuy.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 14:17 GMT, by Kenny