31st August 2006
Failure (again)
Lost the quiz again. Hungover to hell. Overslept. Not looking like a good day at all!
That said, we did the big five yesterday...Telegraph, Times, Independent, Guardian, and a new one to me, the Evening Standard. During the midst of that, I did manage to write some coherent documentation. Shame I don't get to write code anymore 'cos coding is easy compared to documentation.
And on a final point why is it that the women down here are so much better looking than oop Norf'?
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 10:36 BST
30th August 2006
Herr Flick
I have just had the most funny thought in forever. Me limping around at the moment reminded me of Herr Flick. I think I need a long black overcoat and a cane. Oh, and a mistress called Helga.
None of the above will mean anything to the US contingent, but it might raise a chuckle from the UK mob.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Wed 14:23 BST
Roll over Natasha
It has to be said. I am so over Kaplinski.
Kate Silverton is a Goddess and we should all bow down and worship her. She was on fire this morning, as insomnia struck once more. She made some allusion to Bill Turnbull's nakedness in the dressing room and then couldn't fight her way out of the faux pas. Classic. If I could have video-taped that moment, I would have done, just for the look of horror on her face once she realized what she had said.
Kate Silverton; it's the new crack.
Oh, and I discovered the chick on Sky News as well. Hell of a night! ;)
I'll be raising a glass to insomnia at lunch time!
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Wed 10:03 BST
29th August 2006
Debauchery
Well, the weekend was suitably debauched. Unfortunately, it was so debauched I managed to get trendy and break a metatarsal. Oh yes. I didn't manage to make it down to Bristol due to the injury but I should make it down to St A's later on, via A&E.
Careful Lauren!
Let the quiz begin! After coming LAST last week, we need to make amends big time. Fortunately, big brain is back from his slacking vacation so the chances are good to firm.
No more until tomorrow. Later peeps!
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Tue 11:55 BST
25th August 2006
Bank holiday weekend!
Yo!
The good news is that I'm off down to St Albans for a night of debauchery, beer, sex and chips and gravy. Oh and smurkin' tabs.
The bad news is that I will spend Sunday and Monday doing laborious documentation.
Not sure when I'll be back (probably Sunday).
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 15:15 BST
23rd August 2006
Tuesday, wrote Mr Kipling (again)
I've just written some code to block the office here from accessing my blog if they are using Internet Explorer. Only muppets use IE, so they deserve to be presented with an error message insulting their intelligence.
I might warn you, I'm in a bad mood. I'm a bit stressed about work at the moment. Things that look relatively straight-forward are snowballing into horrendously large tasks; hence the tetchiness.
I went down to my favorite St Albans pub last night, The Horn. The barmaid in there, Laurel or Lauren, is absolutely gorgeous. I convinced her to quiz it with us this evening. Result. That might de-stress me. She's a hoot. And we need someone who knows things about pop-culture. Coming second is not a habit I would like to get into.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Wed 11:19 BST
22nd August 2006
Bugger
There's an awful lot of hits coming from our St A's work gateway. It can't be GSP as he hasn't been in here, and I'd be very surprised if we had set him up a VPN onto the corporate network seeing the bugger is going at the end of next week. It might be Ray, who, incidentally, needs to start blogging, but I can only assume it's S. This is a bad thing -- I don't want her reading me too well.
Whoever it is, let me know, or I'll have to ban the St A's gateway address out of pure paranoia. Or maybe even move the whole damned domain again.
Much appreciated.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Tue 15:03 BST
Get in...
Well, Monday saw me and mi'learned colleagues do the quadruple, the big four, the grand slam. Yup, you guessed it: Telegraph, Times, Guardian and Independent, in that order. You may bow before us.
On other matters, thanks Tracy...I shall keep your comment in mind come the day of judgement.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Tue 10:51 BST
20th August 2006
Radio silence
What did I tell you? When you're right, you're right.
It's been a bit of a blur of a weekend. I mosied back from St Albans on Friday evening, ending up in the local pub with a broken briefcase, that I won't be able to replace until at least Thursday and my slowly fading and falling to bits rolling bag. I think I must have slept most of the way back, since I don't remember much about it.
Friday night was strange. I don't want to talk about it here because I don't want to even intimate who the guilty party was.
Yesterday, I met up with the lads for a couple of beers, and then mooched back to Ashton and slept. Today, I have exactly nothing planned. If I'm lucky, I'll find some cash I've forgotten about or manage to borrow some from one of the lads and make it down to the Hare and Hounds for a couple of medicinal ones.
Transatlantic relations are still at severe, though that means they have not been upgraded. I have a chorus of voices from all around me telling me to cut off funding, but I can't. I keep trying to let go but you cannot watch someone you love struggle, or even appear to struggle. I have no idea whether what I'm being told is true, but I have to assume that it is. I just hope Nski doesn't do what I think she is about to do; the justification, as usual, will be thorough and reasonable. I question the motivation.
Nskoid has been on my mind more than usual this weekend. I know I have to make a decision, and it is absolutely tortuous. I think Friday is a turning point. Last Friday pushed me a little, next will convince me.
Next Friday is the first of several leaving do's. I don't know whether I am going to have to get a hotel room or whether I can crash at S's where the GSP is staying. S isn't exactly a catalyst for any impending Nski decision, but she's making me start to think that Nski isn't the be-all and end-all of my existence. Not by any words or actions, just by my interactions and attitude to her.
It seems N has achieved nothing with respect to making any progress on moving here. The reasons seem genuine enough but I doubt whether they are true or she would have been more upset. It might be that she's running tactical interference but when there's little to no communication, it's hard to guage.
Bleh. I have another three hours of introspection unless I find some cash. Better to be distracted than dwell on the impossible.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 11:08 BST
18th August 2006
The painful journey home
I'll be winging my way back oop Norf' in a few hours. I can only hope that there are seats available. Coming down here, I sat on the train floor by a very stinky toilet and my arse became numb at about Crewe and only really woke up once I had walked a mile uphill to the pub office.
Work is becoming a drain too, and is likely to become even more frenetic at the end of the week after next, when the team down here are laid off. I'll be down here for Monday to Thursday morning next week, and then I'll be coming back down on my own dollar to see the team off on Friday evening. And the same will happen the following Friday. When you have a team this good, you need to see them off at least twice. They're all ecstatic about it. I'm left holding the baby, the bathwater and juggling eggs. Girly Southern Puffter -- just remember what you're leaving me, ya bastard.
I feel in a bloggy kind of mood today, but I have work to do. You may get more after a liquid lunch. After all, it is Friday!
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 11:29 BST
17th August 2006
Real men do crosswords
I have neither the energy nor the will to type anything other than this today:
Telegraph, Times, under an hour.
How feckin' smart are we?
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 16:29 BST
16th August 2006
Mania
Well, missen' and mi'good colleague failed to complete the Times crossword yesterday. And judging by the answers today, it's no bloody surprise. We racked our brains until gone eleven, and a pointless exercise it was.
Thankfully, the fire alarm didn't ring until 7:45 this morning, by which time I had been long gone.
Yesterday saw me in a state of frenzy as I wrote what equates to a novel's worth of documentation. 8 documents of around 30 pages. I was like a thing possessed, with smoke coming from the keyboard. And I don't mean my Dell laptop battery was on fire.
Speaking of which, I wonder what happens if you take one of those things on a plane at the moment? Are they going to start screening serial numbers?
Meanwhile, transatlantic relations have been downgraded to severe from critical.
--
Update: Today's Times is absolutely impossible. Four of us sat there for an hour and got about five clues, and at least one of those was wrong (thanks to yours truly).
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Wed 11:37 BST
15th August 2006
What a night
I had a rather nice meal and assisted a colleague in finishing off the Times, Telegraph and Independent crosswords over a few sherbets. All well and good eh?
No. Having got to sleep at around midnight, exhausted from being up too early but determined not to do the same thing again by staying up, what should happen? You guessed it. The fire alarm went off at 2:11am exactly. I got out of bed and had just dressed myself, and it stopped.
There I lay until 6:00am this morning, wide a-bloody-wake.
At around 6:30, the toilet started gurgling. I went in there to find it filled to the top with water. I can only attribute its sudden demise to some kind of shared plumbing with a back-to-back bathroom in the next room.
So I get into work nice and early where my laptop is secured in a colleague's draw. Which is LOCKED. I call him; he has the key on him. So I attempt to use one of the floating boxes; no admin rights so no way of doing what I need to, so here I sit in crappy IE whatever blogging about what a shite day it is already, and it's barely 8:00am.
This had better get better.
As I typed that, V walked past. Step in the right direction.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Tue 08:00 BST
14th August 2006
Monday morning
I feel oogy.
I feel oogy because I'm not sure I'm doing the right thing with Nski. I love her dearly but it really has to be time to move on. She shows no signs of willing, except when it's near payday.
I feel oogy because I haven't slept for worrying about it.
I feel oogy because I am literally penniless.
I feel oogy because I think I might have the start of a bug.
I feel oogy because I have an awful feeling that I might be falling for someone I shouldn't fall for.
Oogy. It's the new Goth.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Mon 06:30 BST
13th August 2006
Life energy low
I have just lost it with Nski. I'm sick of being fucked around.
And I quote:
When you see the words V or S, I hope you feel as badly as I did when I picked up a phone and heard the word Steve. I hope it hits you to your very core. I hope you feel like your stomach has been cut from you. Like your life has been utterly violated. I'm off to St Albans tomorrow morning, and you know what? I will be begging V to come out. You have fucked this up royally.
Here endeth the marriage.
I feel sick. And I have no cigarettes, which makes me feel even more sick.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 23:08 BST
Eek x 2
I've just realised that I have lost December 2005's archive for no reason. Looking on the old domain, I must have done it prior to migrating over to here. Fortunately, the posts are still in the MySQL database so I just need to extract them. Unfortunately, I have no time to do so today, so it's a background task. I have many of those nowadays. I just don't appear to get ten minutes to myself.
The next eek is, having read my last few posts, how much of an obvious common theme there is running through them. Sorry about that. I will try to curtail that kind of behavior.
I'm off back to St Albans again tomorrow morning and will be down there all week. This is no bad thing since most of my favorite people are down there. Well, until the end of August they are, and then they're offski. I'm going to have a conversation tomorrow morning regarding my location. It seems daft that I should have to spend so much time there and not be based there. And if I'm lucky, my friends will stay in the same area.
If I'm honest, I don't think I have found such a great bunch since I was at University. Aside from a couple of people in the US, I never really bonded with anyone.
I know. I'm betraying the Northern cause.
You'll probably not hear from me now until late this evening or tomorrow once I have destinated in St A's.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 11:46 BST
Bryn under attack from Hezbollah?
I just stepped out for a smoke, and it sounds like Lebanon. I don't know what the source of the explosions is, but they are loud and frequent.
The closest thing Bryn has to a terrorist is the affable newsagent who will quite happily do anything for you, usually for free. I needed a modem cable a couple of months back and he drove home to fetch his for me to use. Hardly a crime worthy of rocket attacks. Then again, I'm not exactly sure what Israel have done other than be.
I've laid off commenting on the Israeli conflict up until now. This is partially out of a sense of outrage and partially because I have been distracted by our state of alert at the moment. My commentary above is only semi-jocular. The IDF have gone too far this time. And I don't anticipate that the UN resolution will have much effect, given that is quite obviously pro-Israeli.
Israel has a right to defend itself, no doubt. But the phrase "attack is the best form of defense" really gives them a get out jail free card. Sealed envelope prediction? Hezbollah will carry on fighting because they are loons, and Israel will weasel-word their way into history by flagrantly defying a UN resolution. You expect loon behavior from loon factions. You do not expect it from a democratically elected, supposedly civilized, country.
Speaking of supposedly civilized, I'm not sure how to take the current state of alert here. It's no problem for those of us who aren't using airports but were I still doing a lot of international travel, I would be pissed. Not even being able to take a paper on a plane? Ridiculous. If I had to travel long-haul, I would be madder than hell. Pay handsomely to sit in this seat and do nothing for 8 hours. Yeah, that would really float my boat.
And finally, congratulations have to go out to Sarah Campbell - she finally has an anchor role so no longer has to interview pet dogs or commentate on ant farms.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 10:46 BST
12th August 2006
Another moderately shite day
As things go, it's not been a bad day today, but I have just heard a song on the TV that is one of my mine and Nski's. We have so many but this one is one that I love. It takes me back to Harvard (IL) in 1998. Nski introduced me to so many different musical styles, and that song just breaks my heart. I'd give up forever to touch you just about sums up where I'm at, at the moment.
My Spanish mate last night told me I need to let go, and I know she's right, but I can't. I married Nski for a reason, and that reason hasn't changed. I still deeply love her no matter what might cross my horizon.
My mates here take the view that "you just need a shag". That's not the case. I just need my wife.
I couldn't go out tonight even if I wanted to thanks to having sent so much dosh over to the US. I probably should have done, because I'm going to be in hell all night again. My life revolves around someone who doesn't give a shit about me.
Tomorrow, my mate Rob is going to help me out. Thank God for decent people.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sat 22:04 BST
Skinter than Mad Jack McSkint
I have no idea what I am going to do today. I travelled back from St Albans last night armed with about twenty (borrowed) quid. Unfortunately, you get bored so you spend money on things you would not normally do.
So I need to go get a payday advance in Wigan. Anything that involves immediate interactions to do with finance stress me. I'm fine with investments and pensions, but all other transactions leave me suffering from pre-bank tension. A throw-back to student days.
Were I not sending Nski so much dosh, I would be fine, but I'm gradually suffering earlier and earlier brokeness each month.
I spent an hour or so, last night, in the pub opposite from Bank Quay in Warrington with two utterly gorgeous ladies; one Argentinian and one Spanish. It was the best hour I have spent in two years. They were fun, informative and just full of life. Life is something I had forgotten about. I spend my time worrying about Natzoid and the kids. Anyhow, I learned some Spanish, I looked into the most beautiful brown eyes and had a couple of brewskis while doing it. Does it get any better?
Now I need to stress myself and get into Wigan. I have about £1.40 to my name and three cigarettes. Time to get in the bath and sort this shit out.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sat 12:34 BST
11th August 2006
Wrong
I'm in complete lust. Only to be expected I suppose given the circumstances and recent history.
I can write that knowing full well that Nski will never read it, and that even if she did, she has no leg to stand on at all.
The lady in question has to be the most stunning, stunning woman I have ever met. Don't get me wrong; she's no Nski, but she is physically absolutely beautiful.
Along similar lines, who was the chick on Breakfast this morning?
I know -- it's Friday lunch-time and I should be down at the pub. I'll get mi' coat.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 11:48 BST
10th August 2006
Hohum
Second in the quiz and, well, that life-changing moment never happened. Bugger. Those of you who know me in RL might get the reference. Those that don't, sorry!
Quote of the day (unattributed to protect the guilty):
"I bet she has caused some involuntary muscle spasms in her time."
Sadly, or not so sadly, I had to agree.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 14:23 BST
9th August 2006
Slow like honey
Eeeh, isn't Fiona wonderful.
I have a big night tonight, and there's much more than the quiz riding on it. It could be life defining. Before that though, there's the small matter of a trip to St Albans, where I will be for the rest of the working week.
In other news, that Tshirt I refered to yesterday apparently comes from here. They have some equally top quality geek merchandise, such as a shirt with "I'm blogging this" on it.
I wonder where my next pay check will be spent? Actually, I don't. I know.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Wed 07:39 BST
8th August 2006
Sing it with me now...
Oh-Monty-Monty-Monty,
Monty-Monty-Monty-Panesar.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Tue 15:21 BST
Favorite Tshirt ever
"Chicks dig Unix"
I am in awe, and I want one.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Tue 10:36 BST
6th August 2006
Some light relief
God, I do not know what I would without Fiona Apple at the moment.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 22:57 BST
Six days on
My mutilation looks pretty good. At least I think so. If I ever have another have another, I will be going back to the same guy.
It still smarts!
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 18:16 BST
Censorship time
I have pulled all posts that relate to N in any meaningful way. Somewhat out of respect for her, somewhat out of defense of me. The last time we looked like we were over, I went into meltdown and I don't want that published again. I considered pulling the posts from those months but I left them there as a reminder that I should never do it again; one that I obviously have nearly learned from.
Let normal business resume.
The one thing I cannot pull is my tale of Sammy. She's the lass in the Duke of York who knows something the rest of the world doesn't. Her look of knowing what the rest of us don't is annoying, yet lovely. There's a flash in her eye of something that we're all missing. Or it might just be devilment. Who cares? It's gorgeous.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 17:16 BST
5th August 2006
Cat advice
You know how my dad has a thing about the squirrel? Well, actually so do I. Well my mother thinks she has seen a panther on Plank Lane in Leigh. If you have ever been to Plank Lane in Leigh, you know how phenomenally unlikey that is.
I've just spent 20 minutes on google with her researching cats (which I cannot stand). I gave up, and she has asked me to post something here to ask if anyone can tell her what the following description is.
A large black cat, skinny, with a body that is about 18 inches high and a head that is about 21 inches. Tail around a foot in length.
Matriachal unit will be grateful. I'd just stick a det under the feline bastard if I had my way.
And with that, the cricket has started and I need to eat lunch before heading off to the Hare and Hounds to meet my mates.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sat 11:10 BST
3rd August 2006
Reference
Well done Jan, and Ray, who successfully got the NMA reference.
We failed completely at the quiz last night and I have to admit it was all my fault. I thought Bristol was further West than Liverpool. From examining the weather map this morning, I cannot believe I was so daft.
BTW, congrats have to go out to Ms K, who successfully managed to text her boss last night thinking she had texted me. I would love to know what it said.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 09:28 BST
2nd August 2006
Four o'clock in the morning and still we cannot sleep
Ten points for anyone who gets that title.
I awoke at 3:30 this morning, and I am bloody tired.
The room smells of anaesthetic. That sickly kind of tattoo gubbins.
I talked with Nski for a while but she had to duck out. What she is going through is too much. I am gutted. I cannot talk about it. To be honest, I cannot even think about it. Imagine your worst nightmare; that is her life. And I beat myself up every day for her being in that position, because it is all my fault.
I have to head off to St Albans again today. At least I know I have some damned good friends there. You know someone is great when they text you back at 5 am. I'll spend tonight in their company and relax for once.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Wed 06:54 BST
1st August 2006
I am so crap at coding
I spent ages this morning writing a post, and then I lost it.
This is it:
Do I feel braver? No.
Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Tue 19:18 BST