30th April 2006

Another good friend hits el bloggo

I have just been informed that another good friend of mine has hit the mayhem that is the world of blogs.

Check out Chemical Factory. Welcome S!

I will be back later this evening although I may disappear into PHP and MySQL for the duration. Or I might spend the evening on Yahoo with Da Missus, reliving what it is I love so much about her. Chin up N; now I'm more positive, things will improve because I can make them improve. Old K is back and motivated.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 12:34 BST
 

Oh to be in England

Now that Spring is here. Drizzle. You've got to love the drizzle. Not. It's utterly miserable. Nowhere in the world is the weather so predictably noxious than Manchester. I've probably said this before, but we have a saying in Wigan. If you can't see Rivington Pike, it's raining; if you can see Rivington Pike, it's going to rain. That about sums up today's glorious forecast.

I had planned on mowing this morning, but there's no chance of that. I would have done it yesterday but I became all consumed with a website that I'm working on and suddenly lost 8 hours in PHP and related documentation.

Today sees a trip to the parental units' for Sunday lunch, which inevitably means having to shave, a process that I cannot abide. I will personally finance anyone who can come up with something that negates the need to shave.

I'm feeling a bit outlandish this morning. After lunch, I may take a stroll up to the pub to see if any of the old crowd are in there. Then again, a nap sounds like a fine idea. There's probably some football on but, for me, the season is over until the World Cup starts in June.

If I get chance, I might investigate some cars again. I quite like the look of this and reckon that if I pay cash, I could get them down to £2400 or so. In considering having a car again, I have had a couple of panic-stricken moments. One, I haven't driven anything in about 17 months and two, the standard of British driving is bordering on criminal; hell, my mother has a driving license which is unbelievable. It appears that traffic lights are suggestions rather than mandatory orders, yellow lines are just trinkets on the side of the road and that give way or yield is just a passing fad. And don't get me started on indicators; no-one uses those things -- they should be an option when you buy your car, like sun-roofs. What a joy it will be to do battle with Joe Public on the roads again. I should sign up for blood pressure tablets before I start.

Right, a quick smoke before I face the razor and drizzle, and then a bit of nosh and maybe a walk up the road in the nasty wetness that is Wigan to see whether there is anything worth talking about in this hotbed of meteorlogical depression.

If you're going anywhere, take an umbrella.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 11:33 BST
 

29th April 2006

Wanton commercialism

Consumer lust has overcome me, which is a shame seeing I'm as skint as a plug. However, speaking of plugs, I have a couple of shameless shout-outs to blast around the ether, both of which are to the left, but I'm feeling kind of gregarious today so what the hell...

First up, my copy of Eat What You Want And Die Like A Man arrived yesterday afternoon. I had an early night laughing my socks off. Good thing because I didn't really have the energy or inclination to bend down and take them off.

Next, I bumped into Sam Payne the other night and remonstrated that you could not buy her CDs from her website. I was quickly put right; you can. What you need to do is go to CD Baby and do a search. Apparently, she's played her last regular gig at York's Living Room, so the only regular spot you can catch her at is The Living Room in Leeds on Sunday afternoons. Other than that, you will need to check out her website. Quelle domage. I had got fond of a Wednesday night chez Sam. It's not often that you meet real talent and get to chat with them about everyday nonsense. In fact prior to Sam, the only other time I have had any kind of hob-nobbing has been with Nick Harper and to a lesser extent Roy Harper.

In the immortal words of Commissioner Dreyfuss, every day, in every way, I'm getting better.

Expect more random nonsense as the day progresses.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sat 11:13 BST
 

28th April 2006

Comments

I appear to have broken my comments the last time I modified them. I was trying to block people using gmail addresses as comment-spammers seem to use them quite frequently. I figured that if I asked people not to use gmail addresses, they would choose not to input the email address at all (which most people don't anyway) and that it would simply block bots. For reasons I cannot recall I used substr() rather than strstr() and it meant virtually no-one could comment. Mea culpa.

I am now DSL'd up in Wigan so should be around more frequently for the time being. My car loan has been approved so I should have wheels by this time next week! How very exciting.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 11:59 BST
 

26th April 2006

Step up to the big dipper

Sanity Returns

This merits a subtitle.

Regular sadomasochistic readers will have noticed that I have been at odds with my world for a couple of months now. They have been two of the most unpleasant of my life. The first through crippling depression, caused by the fact that my wife and kids were in the US and the fact that I had been living alone (a state that I am not comfortable with), the second through a perceived loss of said family. I think it fair to say that I quite literally lost my mind for a while. To those people that I have offended in that time (they know who they are), or imposed myself upon, I apologize profusely.

Well, over the past week or so, I have been pulling myself together. I've made a few decisions and started looking to the future. I've given notice on my flat in Leeds and decided to commute to Leeds from Wigan. To that end, I have got a car loan which should be here within a week. Time to start looking earnestly. I'm looking forward to being mobile again. While I hate the cost of cars and find them an annoying administrative burden, I have been reliant on trains and buses for too long.

Just as I completed my transition from "couldn't give a shit about anything" to sentience, I had a phone call from N. We have been sniping at each other for weeks now, each taking pot-shots at the other and apportioning blame for how we arrived in the position we are in. Last night N called in tears. She's having a rough time and is not in the least bit happy with her lot. We had a chat about where we stand and the upshot of it all is that we stand together. Always have done, always will. We both need to fight our respective battles but keep time to plan to reunite somewhere. And we need to stop retro-analyzing and keep our eyes forward. That lifted my spirits no end. Bipolar? Maybe. But whatever floats my boat is fine by me. Anything that drags me out of the terminal funk that I have lived in for the past 10 weeks cannot be bad.

So, the fog lifts and there's actually a visible horizon again. Phew. For a while there, there was no light at the end of the kennel. A month on self-destruct followed by a renaissance...sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you haul yourself out of the mire and shake yourself down.

So there you go -- for once some good news.

--

PS - Where did Men and Motors go on Freeview?

PPS - Who would have an affair with Old Two Jags Prescott? The mind boggles.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Wed 12:02 BST
 

24th April 2006

Ouch

Me and my throat are not easy with each other at the moment. I can barely talk and the question of swallowing anything other than liquids is one not to be countenanced. It is trying to rip me apart. I am half of the mind to rip it out. A tad excessive, sure. Necessary? We'll see. Day two of whincing every time I swallow.

With the throat top of my list of priorities, I hit Asda this morning for some much needed relief. Sandersons, strepsils...you name it, I bought it. I think what it really needs is a dose of brandy in lemon juice and honey. It may take me to the moon for a couple of seconds of hell but then that sweet relief will drizzle around the affected area and all will be well. I may try that one.

Anyhoo, while at Asda, I noticed that football fever has kicked in. You cannot look anywhere without seeing England 06 merchandise. T-shirts, pint glasses, slippers, ashtrays, confectionary. All around. 360 England 06. 'Tis good to see.

On my way back, I noticed a car for sale for £2295 - a RAV4. En route back to Bryn, I may well call in and have a quick shuffty at it. Sounds like a bargain. Please God, tell me it's an automatic. I have no time for manual gearboxes anymore. If it is and it seems sound enough, I will be seeing whether I can arrange some finance on it and may soon be a mobile Kenny again. Now that would be sweet. It means I could head over to Leeds to clear out the rest of my flat, clean it up and make a plan to return to work ASAP (health permitting). I do not look forward to £50 a tank of gas. Ugg.

Now, let's see whether I can manage mashed potatoes on this here insurgent throat of mine. Later.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Mon 12:16 BST
 

20th April 2006

50 days and counting

It is just a short 50 days until the World Cup starts in Germany. You know what that means don't you? I become a pundit again. Oh yes.

Sleepless nights will out. I may take the two weeks off on holiday so I can absorb every glorious moment of the world's most important sporting event.

There'll be new phraseology, I'm sure. My "couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo" has become cliched. There's more where that gem came from. I am fired up and ready to pund (if there is such a word).

I'm off to look at some cars this morning. Given I'm here for good now and moving out of the flat, I'll need wheels. Cheap automatic methinks. Although I quite fancy an automatic RAV4 or Celica. Time to hit the car sites to see roughly what we're talking moneywise.

Look at that. A whole post without mentioning her. Well, nearly.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 10:00 BST
 

17th April 2006

Il a disaparru

I have to vanish for a few days so will be sans internet connection for the duration. Those of you who madly need to talk to me, send me an IM on MSN and it should be forwarded to my phone. If I don't have your number, include it and I will call you back.

I should be back for a while on Wednesday/Thursday and then incommunicado again until the weekend at least.

Speaking of incommunicado, I am taking N's silence badly. I think as a working assumption, I'm going to accept that it's over and that I'm now richer than I was, and that I have to treat this as a bereavement not a split. It's the only way I will cope. I would love to be proven wrong but I'd also love to be independently wealthy, and they're about as probable as one another at the moment.

Later peeps. Have a nice working week while I do all sorts of medical and logistical crap.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Mon 17:21 BST
 

Quality TV (apparently not an oxymoron)

I don't know whether any of you caught The Incredible Journey of Mary Bryant last night on ITV, but that was some class drama. The kind that is usually the reserve of the Beeb. It was a brutal and honest account of one woman's story as she arrived as a prisoner on the first fleet to head to New South Wales. I was choking 'em back.

Romola Garai (never heard of her before) is perfect in her portrayal of this hard-headed go-getting Cornish girl, dispatched to Oz for her robbery of a bonnet and some food. It helps that she is stunningly beautiful too.

Part two tonight. I cannot wait. Before that, there is the small matter of some football.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Mon 09:44 BST
 

15th April 2006

Ray of light

Apart from the football, there are a couple of rays of light.

I did not, to anyone's knowledge, go mad last night or hallucinate. Step in the right direction.

Communication channels are open with N again. I believe we may be making some progress as to resolution; that does not imply positive or negative, just that there may be some closure shortly. We'll see.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sat 12:47 BST
 

14th April 2006

Retail therapy

To cheer myself up, and because N has our copy (along with everything else I own, including my first wedding ring and my grandfather's pocket watch), I have ordered Steve's Eat what you want and die like a man today, using the Amazon gift voucher that Nicole in San Jose so kindly sent me. It should be here within a couple of weeks. I can't wait.

N has gone radio silent on me. I asked for some scans of documents for tax purposes. Nowt. I asked for the above ring and watch. Nothing. There are a few other bits and bobs I would like but there's no point in asking. She'll be having her fling and ignoring the rest of the world.

I alternate between being very angry with her and just dying with pain, hating myself for having been so stupid. Gah. I think it may well be cocktail time prior to United's thrashing of Charlton and the subsequent acute fear emanating from Chelsea.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 18:02 BST
 

Hallucinations continue

I went down to th'Oddies last night for some light relief and good company. I also wanted to be able to sleep properly for once so thought a few cocktails may ease me into slumber. Ste usually goes in early and leaves about 8 so I too did the same thing. He was on rare old form. I played chess with Yozzer Bryn Laiden who is El Bobo's dad. And lost. I hate that. I left about 8:30, happy to have taken the plunge into society again. I've spent the last week or so holed up or seeing doctors or just feeling an ache that is untreatable. Nothing makes the pain of N any better. Natasha Kaplinski could be in this room getting it on with Kate Silverton and I would still be hurting. I beg, I plead. Nada.

Anyway, yesterday I started to get some resolve. I went to see a councellor and started putting together a plan. It's only a plan and if I achieve even half of it, it will be something. First thing is I have to get out of the flat in Leeds. Being alone at the moment is too risky for me. Target date: May 19th. Next, get a car. I don't want one but when I return to work I will need to commute and trains won't do it from here. Target date: May 1st. I have Ste working on that one for me. Next, I need to find a job in Wigan. My ideal is that I rent a cheap furnished terraced house in Bryn, close to my support network and th'Oddies (nominally one in the same). During my twenties, I lost all sense of value and I have decided that happiness is worth more than cash, and I need some happy-happy right now. Sick and tired of being broke but what the hell...get your arse down th'Oddies and have a laugh. Who knows, you might meet a nice Wigan lass with a sense of humor and an IQ. Actually, the IQ thing is not a requirement. Just someone who is loyal. Anyway, that's half of the plan. I'll let you know the rest later.

I hallucinated again last night. And it was worse. I actually left bed and went outside armed with a nine-iron. Scary shit peeps. Can you imagine if I had been alone when that happened in Leeds. Some poor git would have been physically assaulted and I would have been arrested. Maybe I have done it before? The only reason I know I have here is because of what those around me have said. They say I look and sound reasonable...I'm in complete vacant posession with 3rd party only written all over me.

That's it for today. Take good care of yourselves. I will try not to murder anyone.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 16:15 BST
 

13th April 2006

Kenny and the Bill

Normally I resonate at about 25Hz. Always have done. At the moment it's 50Hz and I forget to breathe.

Yesterday I witnessed what looked like a house break-in. Being the good guy that I am, I raised my resonant frequency to 75Hz and called the police. Wurr-wurr. They called me back to verify the address and attended the incident.

Shortly afterwards, a knock at the door. Open the door. 6'3" of blond gorgeousness in a police uniform informed me it was the kids who lived there doing an "assault course" and were getting the bollocking of a life time. 100Hz.

It took a stiff drink and a nice evening in to calm me back down to about 60Hz and then I hallucinated all night (for free). Scary shit bro. Don't try it at home.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 10:19 BST
 

8th April 2006

Out of Dodge

I'm off back to my grandmother's in Wigan via Leeds. I'll pick up my shit and leave. Bob and the FF are so kind doing this for me. The flat can lie dormant...they want to sell it anyway. There's no way I can carry on in this state.

El Bobo, I'll see you later mate. Ste, I'll be down the Bowling Club at some point. You might not hear from me a while...back in the people's Republic and all...I'll need to get my DSL service switched.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sat 13:36 BST
 

7th April 2006

Downer

One of my best mates who has literally kept me alive for the past few months has had his wife leave him.

I know that pain all too well. B mate, call me whenever. I know you're all sober and what have you, but you'll still need someone to talk to. I'm there for you. You've been a prop for me since I got back. I owe you.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 13:31 BST
 

Friday wrote Mr Kipling

I can honestly say I have never been in a worse state of mind. I cannot be left alone at the moment. Bob said last night that I need constant company and he's right. As always. Being here with Bob and FF is great but they have their own lifes to deal with. They have no kids yet, and the last thing they need is a damned near 37 year old breaking down in front of their eyes.

This is probably Bob's way of saying go somewhere else but I have learned a lot about him over the past week. He's a great chap and just doesn't like weakness. Fair go. The FF has been ace. She has taken me to mental places I have never been. She's so damned reasonable she should have an award or be shot or something. I love her to bits.

On a positive note, I have nearly got back to a sensible sleep regime. Rather than watching News 24 on the sofa, I'm going to bed, albeit in tears.

Nski, you can still fix this. I note that it's two days since we last communicated. The email was frank but you know me; I have never been anything but honest with you about demons and horror. There's no malice at all. I'm just gutted that I was so daft to think you might move here to perpetuate the 'love' you professed. I so nearly had it together and it's gone.

You can live with your felony convictions. I will live with my pain.

Finally, K, keep in touch love. You're a star.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Fri 11:29 BST
 

6th April 2006

Reporting in

I have to so I don't have the police breaking down my door again.

The FF received a letter from my eldest daughter yesterday. It was so sweet. L has a 'cafe' that is allegedly open all hours. Last time FF was there, it wasn't because I was and I cannot deal with my (first) ex-wife. The letter was an apology for not being open and a credit voucher for her next visit. As I say, so sweet.

I had another bad exchange with Nski yesterday. I think Jez coming back to the UK has made me think about things too deeply. He's coming back with his American wife and kids. I came home alone. I should have known when that happened that this was going to fall to pieces. Nski would never move here. I foolishly thought I might convince her, but her home ground is where she wishes to stay. I risked (and lost) everything to be with her. What a damned idiot.

I've said this before, but I'll say it again. No-one will be interested in a broken man like me. And equally, I am not interested. I can appreciate beauty like the next man but I have had the life force kicked out of me by a series of very unfortunate events.

There are two people who can heal me at the moment. Nski is one, and she obviously has lost the will, and a girl I used to work with called K who I got on with great. She made working in US corporate hell tolerable just because, quite frankly, she didn't give a shit about it all. A valuable attribute in survival. She was looking after her and her kid, and that was all. I admired her spirit and determination. Nski has the same kind of attitude but I just cannot bring myself to look at them through the same lenses. One I loved. One I love.

Okay -- that's your lot for today. I have my little goals to achieve. Washing dishes, crossword et al. It's just a shame that the mother of my children took exactly the right moment to gut me. Only me and the kids will suffer. But what the hell? She'll be okay with her new beau. That's all that matters, yes?


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Thu 09:41 BST
 

5th April 2006

Today's agenda

Bath -- complete
Washing up -- TBD complete
Crossword -- TBD

Reply to email from Da Missus and break down -- complete


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Wed 12:17 BST
 

4th April 2006

Apology

I pissed off R today and have had to do some editing on El Blogo. I have always been positive about him but I realize that it's probably inappropriate -- I didn't realize he was so famous. So apologies R. No harm intended.

I need to get get out of the house again. As much as I love Fiona Apple, it's the wrong mood music. I need some angry Paul Weller. So the Jam it is. Only one place you can get that around here.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Tue 13:22 BST
 

3rd April 2006

So far, so good

I managed to get the bath out of the way. I put a call in to work which I will follow up on later. I now have some washing up to do. When you're dangling by a thread, you need small goals. Every one that you hit is a small victory and a step forward.

In the meantime, a little fun in a world that isn't giving me that much at the moment. Bob and FF watch GMTV in the morning just so they can laugh at Fiona Philips' complete incompetence. Sadly for them, it was the gorgeous Penny Smith who was anchoring (what is it with me an newsreaders?). So we switched to the Beeb where the stunning Kate Silverton was on. The FF took one look at her, cursed her hair-do and said she looked like a fish. I about lost it laughing while feeling hurt that the woman of my dreams was being insulted in such a fashion.

Honestly, Bob and FF are so kind to do this for me. Just their very presence is a relief. If either of them were in this state I would do it an a heartbeat but that's me. I don't hold other people to what I would do anymore. I should have known better with these two. Just having some company of your own age makes life more handleable. I should have come and stayed here before now. It might have been a different story. But it is what it is.

Onto other random crap. I started watching the BBC2 documentary on insurgency in Iraq last night. It incensed me. Funnily enough, Bob, FF and I had been talking earlier in the day about the 'problem' with the East and West. Bob mentioned some startling statistic that said of the 1.5m muslims in Britain, some 20% had sympathy with the attacks on the US on 9/11. That inflamed me. That is an awful lot of nutjobs in a small country.

Two things here...firstly, deport the bastards. If you don't like our way of life, get the hell out of Dodge because we will fight you. Go back to your rat-infested bartering system and five times a day of waneful howling to a deity that is as sexist as is divinely possible. Secondly, we lost millions of people fighting wars so people like you could be free here. The US had a couple of scuffles and a bit of a debate. If you want to move here and take advantage of what these people sacrificed their lives for, have the decency to remember why you can live here with your lunatic views, albeit you are free to have them.

Some days I wish I was young enough to join the army. I considered the RAF when I left Uni but as per usual, didn't have the will to do it. When I first came back to the UK I looked into army careers because of the present climate but I'm too old for anything. They want you young so they can mold you into a proper soldier. When I was younger I was a lot more tolerant. After the events of the last few years, that has gone and I trust less in human nature. And I wish I had had the sense at the time I was considering the RAF to step up to the plate and do it.

Rant endeth...just had an IM convo with Nski that has killed me. The tears are back and so is the dark place. I need to get out of the house and distract myself before I start thinking about doing something stupid again. She has killed me more than she can possibly imagine.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Mon 11:07 BST
 

Another bloody addiction

In addition to smoking, I must be addicted to blogging too.

I managed to hold down solid food for the first time in over a week yesterday. I had a steak and some salad. I also introduced Bob and the FF to sushi and was pleased as punch that they actually liked it. They even liked wassabe. Next step: sashimi.

My emotional roller-coaster ride continues though. Just to get me out of the house, we went to York yesterday. The FF was on fine form and into everything. Bob and I just followed really. On the way back I went into one of my dark places again. I couldn't speak. I watched the beautiful scenery roll by and was consumed with sadness.

I alternate between being bloody angry and being so grief-stricken I would forgive Nski if she'd shot the pope. You cannot just wipe out so much of your life in a few days. This will take years to get over.

Last night I suggested Bob and FF watch Mr and Mrs Smith. We did and it was as funny as I remember it. But again, there are memories associated with it and I hurt while watching it.

Unfortunately, Bob and FF have to work today so I'm alone for a few hours. A bit of blogging, a long bath, some washing up and an avoidance of any stress are in order. Maybe a walk to Sowerby? I also need to talk to work...I can't give up my job, tempting as that course of action is at the moment. I'll see if I can take some vacation time and if that will get me back to a place where I can function like a normal human being again. At the moment, it would be unacceptable for me to break down into tears in the office on a daily basis and quite frankly, when I do go back, I will be embarassed to have to explain my absence to my co-workers. In general, I don't do talk apart from blarting nonsense on here. I'm actually quite shy and very self-conscious. Having to explain in person will take some strength that I have previously never had.

To finish for the moment -- Nski, the same plea.

I may be back later depending on how things unfold today. I may not. It's not so much a question of a day at a time at the moment as an hour at a time.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Mon 09:03 BST
 

2nd April 2006

More

The more I think about it, the more it kills me that Nski and I are no longer together in a metaphorical sense. We've been apart in a physical sense for over a year but I thought we had stayed connected. Fool me.

I am so jealous of other people's lives right now. And although it makes me sadder than hell, it also makes me happy that other people don't have to live in the world that I do at the moment. Maybe there is hope but for the moment, someone has switched off the light at the end of the kennel for me.

Gah. More gut spillage. Until I get back to Leeds or feel utterly compelled, this is the last you will hear from me for a while. Just know that I'm in safe hands but hurting.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 13:08 BST
 

Thirsk update

I have not felt better in months. The Flip-flop makes me smile in so many ways. I love her to bits. We've played stupid games with Bob, stayed up until way too late talking about everything under the sun and done daft things, like just gone for a long walk.

Saturday morning, the blackbirds were up before the FF and I even considered going to bed. We just chatted and chatted. I felt alive for the first time in years. I have never had a sister so I have little appreciation of what that might entail, but Karen and FF are my adopted sisters. Karen because we have known each other for so long and FF because she is now my SIL. It's a long time since I connected so well. And it's great to know it's FF that I connect with so well; she's family now.

Nski put up with my illness even though she didn't recognise it as such. FF does - she sees the symptoms and wants me to tell my doctor he's an idiot and just move from Leeds to Thirsk to stay here, where the local GP is apparently brilliant. I'm not too sure that my brother will be too keen on that idea but it is seriously worth considering just on the basis that it might help. Being on your own in a flat in a city center is mind-destroying, especially when everything that you are fighting for has evaporated.

I lost the will to fight when Nski stabbed me. I have nothing left to give to anyone at all. All I can do is go out with Bob and the FF and appreciate the totty. I have no interest other than in the aesethetics. And even that clouds me.

FF's just so full of life. She's like a spring. She bounces around singing and just taking care of things. And you wou wouldn't believe how kind she has been to me. I hope one day I can repay her for her kindness. She is a gem.

I've spoken with Bob too. He's always been a sane voice. He understands and I think I shocked him today by being ill in a way he has never seen. I am sick like I was when I left the US but I'm also sick with grief. It is not pleasant to be puking your breakfast. I don't know how much of that is grief or how much is self-abuse and hatred. Whatever, I heaved all over his driveway today. A lot of effort for not much substance.

Nski has done a number on me. I trusted her implicitly. How daft am I? I'd still take her back in seconds, but the more I look around the beautiful homes of my friends and family here, the more I resent that I left the UK for someone I loved and who betrayed me the moment the money dried up. I should just have stayed. It may well have all been different now.

No matter. What is done is done. I need to move on. First thing; get rid of job. Althought my employers have been great, statutory sick pay is shit, and I cannot work. I am too heart-broken. I need to get the hell out of Leeds and find something that doesn't stress me where I have company. Jez and R may be a great help on that score.

Ah hell. I'm tired and we played Triv until way too late so I'm off to bed. You'll get more on this tomorrow, I'm sure.


Comments (), Permalink, Posted: Sun 03:49 GMT